It's been a while since my last writing and I'm so happy that I still can access this blog and write. 

Ugh I know I tend to write when my heart is broken. 

However, I still have no idea what to write. I actually really want to write about my previous relationship. A relationship that opened my eyes, did give me a lot of things to learn, did give me new perspectives, and somehow, changed me. I mean, the way I see a relationship and how to behave has changed. 

I've always been that girl who gives all my love, and I still do. 

I've always been that girl who gives up easily when something seems wrong, that's not me anymore. 

And for this relationship, although I cry myself out almost every night, I know it's worth saving. This person really gives a significant impact on me. I can be myself around him, I can say what I want to say, I can say anything that pops up in my head without feeling embarrassed, I can smile and laugh over small things, I can tell him my cheapest jokes, I can freely show my bare face and soul, and most importantly, the way he makes me feel & his vibe, marvelous. I know for sure he also feels the same. 

I love the way he talks, the way he looks at me, the way he smiles, the way he walks, the way he eats, the way he focuses on what he's doing, the way he helps others, the way he stands for himself, the way he holds my hand, the way he kisses me, the way he hugs me, the way he sleeps, the way he laughs, the way he gives me a weird face cuz of my cheap jokes, the way he makes fun of my typos, the way he talks about his interests, the way he shows me the pictures he took himself, the way he appreciates me and people, the way he helps his family, all his small gestures, the way he never forgets to buy me a bottle of mineral water, the way he waves at me, the way he talks about his friends, the way he sends me selfies, the way he calls me pretty, his big beautiful heart, the way he apologizes, the way he understands me, all his efforts, I love them all. Does he realize that he's super lovely? 

I cannot seem to let go, I don't want to. Is it the time to give all my efforts back to him? I guess so. I don't want to lose anything that we had-or have. I don't want to give up on us. 

Isn't love all about fixing, recovering, and growing?